I knew the empire would go down, but I didn’t imagine in this way. Republicans are treasonous and at least some of the Democrats can’t kick big money and so we have a struggle that is not giving me confidence that we can right the ship. The left wing of the Democratic party probably has as much support at the always Trumpers. Where does that leave us??
Most of my day I spend doing things that are meaningful to me. This larger political context in which I live is theatre of the absurd. So first thing, I write in my diary while I sip delicious Kona coffee in the morning. I often comment in the diary, “Good Coffee this morning”. I get a warm feeling of thankfulness to be blessed with Kona coffee, so smooth! There are dreams in the diary, sometimes I comment on current affairs although I try to keep that short.
I have and maintain a list of things I would like to do and I take pleasure in checking off items when they have been completed. The list of tasks carries over from day to day until completed. Today I shopped at a place that is aligned with my values, the “Rail Museum”, the huge steam engines were decorated with lights. I also shopped at a local independent store. It felt good to keep money in the local area. Now I have a package ready to mail, one I will mail on Monday or Tuesday. I have a plan for gifts! And Christmas in twelve days.
For the past two weeks my diary has had entries about people I want to gift and thoughts about what those gifts might be or where I might find the gift. I have also created some cards as greetings to send. Today I feel like I was able to fulfill a gift wish to some people on my list.
The biggest disappointment I have regarding the national scene, the impeachment, is that worse than what Trump did is the fact that a sizable group of people think that it is ok that he did it and that this is a pattern. With no dispute about the facts, the Republican Senate will not vote to impeach. That is really scary.
I used to think that the vote I have is such a minor means of expressing my views, and now I feel like that will be made irrelevant and now left with no mechanism for influencing the big P Politics. It wouldn’t be so bad, except I have been following politics all of my life and I can’t stop now. The trend signs are not good. I can feel thankful that I am seventy-one years old. This ride will not be a lifetime for me, as it will be for the young people. And I wonder how things have gotten so bad. My generation has not done well.
I feel like I am stepping up to a wild west ride, there is no place else to go. Be prepared for extreme weather, seasons in flux, norms just reference points for this wild ride, lots of firsts, yes these are interesting times, but we are playing with fire, danger ahead. I suppose I should do some imagining for the future. It occurs to me that corruption is so pervasive that with some investigation it can be found almost anywhere. And this is the characteristic of the Fall, when cultures self-destruct, the rules are ignored.
I have an alter-ego, Tony who experienced this in Rome. I suppose I should adopt Tony, follow him in his efforts to be a human being. Perhaps what is happening is that Tony and Michael are merging and this transformation is unnerving. On the one hand there is the plodding Michael with the diary and coffee routine his daily habits and on the other, Tony is trying to live with the wider context because Tony has always been political. Tony knows that there is rough water ahead, he is working toward resilience. I am sitting in a comfortable living room with no shortage of food and feeling very grateful for all that I have been given here. I have several interesting books to read, some writing projects, photo projects, meals to cook, presents to give.
And so I rock back and forth from the immediate now, thankful for all I have here, and the national theatre of the absurd, while trying to divine what it all means for the immediate now in the near and distant future.
It does occur to me that this amazing display of ignoring the facts, not disputing the facts, and then contradicting the facts in the Theatre of the Absurd will do lasting damage to civil discourse and of course the “rule of law”. The cultural environment has been damaged and this is one way our civil lives have been changed. We don’t know the full extent of the damage as yet.